Archive | November 2013

Make the Grain feel the Pain

Despite my best efforts, ‘the grain’ has not succumbed to my repeated floggings of late. In fact, I’m beginning to think that the pile or organic mush that is the human body is no match for the mighty wood. In a desperate attempt to get better I keep going back for more though; the feeling of leaving the climbing wall better than when you walked in is pretty satisfying, satisfying enough to outweigh the odd looks you get when you shout YYFY because you finished the hang with an extra kg, anyway.

Word on the street is that the grit has been well and truly called. There’s been a slew of apparently newsworthy ascents recently, and I commend you all on your bravery and climbing skill. But clearly all the clambering over sharp, painful rock has distracted the climbing community from the real achievements of late; the aforementioned hang with extra weight, plus the move I did on the motherboard, plus the one half-decent campus board session I had – the rest were shit, but the burl is on its way…

Anyway, not wanting to feel left out, I thought I’d go and see what all the hype was about. My first impression was that it fucking hurts your skin, wood is much more friendly to the aspiring ‘crusher’, and not wishing to become a party of the now fashionable trend of posting pictures of bleeding tips on facebook I didn’t pull on any little minging holds, and certainly not on any pebbles. I managed to find a suitably dark and dank Pitt to have a go on, and I’m going to give a personal grade of 7b+ – mainly because I want Jens to call me brave and humble.

After single-handedly saving the world from the threat of ¬†grade inflation it was back to board. Then to the other board. Then the other board. We’re not very imaginative with our equipment names, us climbers. Perhaps that’s why so many people are less than fond of training; it always involves using something that is literally bored. Maybe if we renamed them something more inspiring then I’d have more people to talk to whilst dangling.

Now, I must get back to work so I can go on the wave later. Ah the wave! Now that’s not boring.